It's My Turn

Your passing phases

I am just one of them

Like the many that have come and gone

And more in the time to come

You call me baby

And kisses you rain

You tell me I’m different, the best

But it’s the same story again

I’m not the last

After me, someone new

The same words and the same songs

That’s how it works for you

I pity myself

Now that’s all I say 

For you are a trap made of love

And me, just your prey

The End.

I know it hurts
I feel the pain
I've been there
I've gone insane

Yet apologies
Are all I make
There isn't love
Left to fake

What we had
A blissful truth
We let it stink
A rotten fruit

You and I
Not meant to be
So here I am
Setting you free

You may curse
You may hate
But all I know
Is it's too late

You're in my heart
In a way
Every night
And every day

Deep Within

It's that hour of the day again
Night rather
And I'm getting restless
I know you are too
For together we are shedding a habit
A habit that has rooted deep within
Roots that have tangled our nerves,
Veins, souls and thoughts.
As the night passes unusually silent
I would bury my pain deep within
Wondering how long my ordeal would take me.
How many nights more?

Maybe...

I know, the other day you came till my door step
But why didn't you knock at my door?

Or maybe you did and i did not hear
Or may be I heard and pretended not
Or may be I wasn't ready to open the door
Now when I open, you are not here anymore
Maybe you'll come back some other day
Or maybe you have chosen some other way
For if one door closes, hundred others open

Till the Sabha do us part… A satire

We, are a sovereign, socialist, secular democratic republic. We have been blessed with a huge list of rights and duties. The right to equality, the right to rape women and not get punished, the right to education, the right to become a minister while you are still a fourth grade fail, the right to freedom of religion, the right to forcefully convert people belonging to other religions and so goes the list. But the most appreciated among them is the right to freedom. You are free to urinate in the public, you are free to bribe the authorities, you are free to walk around, you are free to fall in love, and you are free to walk around with the person you love. Oh wait, not on a Valentine’s day though. On this day, the freedom of the Hindu Maha Sabha to marry off any young couple seen together in public would surpass your own individual freedom to decide for yourself. So you dare to walk on the streets and if you are an unmarried couple, they marry you off. And what if you are a married couple? Well, inferred from all the jokes on marriage, will a married couple really be going out on a valentines day? Or any day for that matter?

This crazy idea is a boon in disguise for couple whose parents are dead against their relationship, so goes the grapevine. They could even be found deliberately marching in front of the Sabha’s offices so that they are forcefully married and the Sabha can answer, rather question their parents. It is also heard that some parents are even encouraging their off springs to fall in love and go out on a valentines date. Need not waste your time wondering if you find the couple being rightly spotted by the MSS (Moral Sabha Squad) very shortly after they step out hand in hand. The whistleblower is none other than the girl’s father. Guess why? Because he married his daughter off for free! No dowry!

The Sabha has a point. Valentine’s day isn’t our culture. We are not supposed to ape the west and imbibe their nonsensical ways of celebrating life. Our culture is pure and serene, those bestowed upon us by our Gods. “Hindu Gods” specifically. Say for example, to roam around with many women, fall in love with one of them and get married to someone else (remember Krishna?) or bring a wife home and share her with your brothers (remember Draupadi?) or give birth to a child secretly, give him off, hide the news and marry someone else (remember Kunti?). With a culture as rich as this, how can you even think of celebrating the Valentine’s? How can you degrade our morals and beliefs with a mere February 14th?

Rules

Rules make us rebellious! Those ones that are imposed upon us not by the court of law, but by the ardent followers of morals. Those who abide by the sacred society. For them, traditions and culture rule their lives. I am never against morals, but I believe everyone should set morals for themselves, and not be forced to follow those constructed by others. For those, whose personal morality causes tremendous inconveniences to others, we have the legal system to take care. Here I am talking of the unnecessary, headstrong rules that most of us are forced to follow, going against our wills for satiating others, whom unfortunately we can't afford to disappoint.

There are two such rules that have compelled me to be rebellious and be a pain in the asses of those who love me or rather close to me. The first one is religion. My family particularly isn't very adamant on religion, but that did not help me turn myself into a hardcore non religious person. Being spiritual is alright, but never religious ever in life. The reason being, society again. I don't have a problem, my family doesn't then who are you to decide how I should practice my religion? Apart from that, all those stupidity and violence being carried out in the name of religion has made it as alive as a dodo in my life. A question I have here is, Why don't we all try to be human beings first?

The second rule that has injected rebellion in my blood is 'girls should be this and girls should do that'. At times I curse myself and every other girl alive on earth for being born as a girl. We are not supposed to talk aloud. We are not supposed to be ill mannered in the eyes of society. we are not supposed to smoke or drink. we are not supposed to dominate. We are not supposed to go on trips for vacation. We are not supposed to cut our hair short...and what not? I am not saying that girls should defy everything and go out there and pick a fight and challenge men. No! that's exactly not what I mean. But why are even some of the basic rights being denied to us? why are there so many rules exclusively being imposed on women by the esteemed society? I am sure safety isn't just the reason. Had it been, there would be other rules for guys as well, like do not RAPE. Do not TEASE. Do not Stare. But these don't clearly exist right? If there had been such rules, every girl would have been safe and proud to be a girl.

This oppression and suppression is not going to last for long I am sure. One day there would be an endless queue of girls, hundred times longer and disciplined than the ones in front of beverage shops, in front of hospitals or the likes of them, just to get their genders changed. The same way, there would be a day when rules of the aforementioned kind would bring about an irreversible chaos atleast in this country and take away whatever little peace we have. Then there would be no need of a war or an ice-age or tsunami to treat it right. Well, let's not wait to see this day and try to treat things in a much more sensible way. Let's learn to help, love, respect and care for the fellow beings. Lets learn to mind our own businesses, leave others in peace and not bother about what other people are doing unless our help is asked for. Let us try to sweep off from the face of earth, vices like hatred, unhealthy competition, greed, corruption, bigotry, fanaticism, inequality, gossiping, bitching, malefactions, violences towards women and the other weaker counterparts...the list is endless. Let us try to keep alive atleast within our individual selves, a sense of responsibility, mercy, affection, compassion, loyalty, respect for others, kind-heartedness and everything good that we can think of. I have started my journey towards this destination, and am hopeful. My humble request to you is, just give it a try, what if we succeed?

A Dead Life

Time stood still for me

The very moment the words

Buried deep in the core of your heart

Came out to reveal a latent love

So sacred and pure

Making me realize like before

That I am a nobody

Pricked me in my eyes

And stabbed my worthless soul

Since then my world is frozen

Everything around is dead

But you are still green

And full of life as ever

You live inside me

And always will…

The Fight

She stood in front of the mirror and stared right into the reflection of her eyes. Her gaze was fierce, but tears rolled down her cheeks. Every tear burned her eyes, so did the trails they left on her cheeks. It was like in those stories, anger flaming through the eyes. 

She usually did this. She often stood in front of the mirror, seeing herself cry. She knew her reddening eyes looked beautiful and had that captivating power which she wished he saw sometimes. Sympathy for her own reflection made her cry harder, as more worthless thoughts conspired to steer her mind. 

This time, it was no different. 'I have some self respect', she thought. 'I will not tolerate his nonsense anymore. Nor will I give in to his whims. This it it. I have had enough. No more crying for someone who doesn't care about me.' She found her eyes staring back at her, looking determined. The tears had stopped and She wiped them off her face. She knew this decision was gonna stay. Stay until...

...until he called again, which would be in a couple of hours to say, 'If you are done being angry at me, give me a kiss'. And she would cry again. But then, she would smile through her tears, and her smile would transform into a pout making way for a long kiss.

But as of now, she was not supposed to think of it. She was supposed to be angry, and determined. She sat on her bed with her laptop on. A movie flicked alive on the screen. Her eyes glued into the movie and mind onto the phone kept aside, she waited impatiently for that beautiful song, "tere bina zindagi se...". And that, was her ringtone set for him.

A walk by the waters...

She let every moment pass with increasing restlessness. It was new year and she had not done anything productive. All she managed to do was to cuddle in the cushy warmth of her sofa, with movies playing one after the other on her Tablemate top. Her mind was on and off into the movie, at times paying quick visits to what seems like an endless to-do list, that added its fair contribution into the escalating restlessness. But her helpless laziness conveniently warded off the beseeching pleas of her inner conscience as if to say, ‘New Years day? Bah Humbug!’, like uncle Scrooge. Her hither-thither wandering attention was finally broken by the jingle of yet another inevitable electronic parter in crime, that is, her phone. It was him. 'You seem rooted. Get up now! Take a shower, eat and take a walk. That would do you some good.’ That really seemed like the best idea she had heard in ages. Like an obedient little dog, she heeded to his words. And there she was, by the beautiful yet back-waters of Cochin. The cool breeze indeed did the magic. It was more than enough to put some life into her. Couples, families, friends, kids, laughters, chatters and a plethora of vague but familiar rattle. She felt as if it were all a dream. A dream that had suddenly instilled an explainable ecstasy into her. As she let her wet hair dance to the tune of the wind, she did not bother about anything else. Not about new year, no regrets of the day being wasted and no remnants of the to-do list. It might be true that well begun is half done. But can that ever beat a great ending? And in what better way could she have ended the day than with a genuine smile that rented a space on her face, oblivious to herself?